trust the Artist...

Have you ever watched an artist paint on a canvas?

I mean a true artist... not one like me who splatters colors about every now and again. I'm the kind of person who says after painting... "ehh..... good enough." Oh no, no... these guys have a wonderful picture in mind before they even begin. Art is not my gift, so it intrigues me to watch artists in their element. They pick up their brush, and most often start painting... nothing to trace... oh no... not great artists... no guidelines or "paint by numbers" for these guys.... they just paint...

So free. So beautiful. Such creativity pouring out of their soul.

It's a beautiful thing to watch.

Lately, it seems my life has been a blank canvas... Me, being no artist, I want to have everything sketched out before the painting even begins. I want to know which colors go where, which way is up, what is my setting? My audience? Most of all, what will my final product... my final painting look like?

God has so reminded me lately that HE is the ultimate artist... check out this verse...

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. - Psalm 19:1

And take a look at a little of His workmanship... these are just a few pictures I've taken recently... (I'm kind of obsessed with sunsets!!!)

I can just imagine God with a blank canvas setting these beautiful sunsets into motion... some deep blue, a splash of orange, and a few rays of light peeking through the clouds to remind us of how great the Creator of the Universe is...

Man, if our God paints the skies with such purpose, how much more does He paint the canvas of our lives?

When we look at our life, or a certain circumstance... we may see a "blank canvas"... we may see colors scattered about here and there, and we definitely don't see what the final picture will look like, but that's because WE aren't the artist. I forget this so many times... God looks at the canvas of our life, and even of our circumstances, ands sees a beautiful picture... He has the final masterpiece in mind, He knows how it's supposed to turn out... He knows which strokes to paint, and when. He doesn't erase, and He doesn't look upon these canvases as "ordinary". And, just when it seems like the painting may turn into a jumbled mess, He finishes the picture, and it is simply breathtaking. He paints each one uniquely, and with a specific purpose... and He beckons us to trust His artistry. He beckons us to trust that He is a much greater artist, and that the masterpieces He can paint only pale in comparison to the ones that we may be able to sketch out for ourselves.

So I encourage you, next time you look at a sunset, remember that God is the ultimate artist, and that He wants to paint something beautiful for your life... yes, it may look completely different than anything you ever tried painting for yourself... And while you're waiting for the completed painting, it may seem like it's not going to fit together... when you finally see the 'big picture' of whatever circumstance you're in, it will be way more beautiful and breathtaking than we could imagine...

Sit back, watch God make each brushstroke, and know that He is creating a beautiful masterpiece in you...

the new direction

We have gotten some news on our upcoming trip to Russia, in June. Originally, we were hoping to visit our orphanage, and stay there for the duration of the trip. However, because of some recent events and government restrictions, we will not be able to go to our orphanage.

I think the thing I was having the most trouble with all of this is that it completely breaks my heart. It really does. Our team was SO looking forward to getting to see our kids, and spend some time with them. BUT I know who is in control. I was really struggling with the two... and I realized...

its ok. I can be both.

I can be completely heart broken over the situation. It means that God has broken my heart for these kids, and that He has given me a passion to love them. BUT I can also hope because ultimately, HE is the one who is in control.

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the new direction

Even though we did not get clearance to go to the orphanage, we still got permission to visit Ryazan and stay in the city.

In the city, Children's HopeChest sponsors a Ministry Center. This MC is a place where teens who graduate the orphanage can go to find refuge. They can watch TV, work on school work with the computers there, get dental assistance, counseling, etc. A majority of the kids who graduate orphanages are about 16 years old. I imagine myself at 16... being out in the city by myself, being faced with major life decisions.... ones that even now, being 23 I still haven't had to face.

The kids live in government housing... the statistics for girls to be sexually abused, raped, etc in the first few weeks of living there are through the roof. A lot of girls from orphanages that graduate end up in prostitution, or sex slavery. Just last week we heard a story from Children's HopeChest about a girl that started coming to their Ministry Center after being rescued from forced prostitution. Many of the boys fall into alcoholism, drugs, and even work for the mafia.

By any means, these teens have many hard decisions to make, and they need hope. A hope that we can bring them.

So... that is what we will be doing this summer. We're going to be working at the MC in Ryazan. We'll be hanging out with kids that have graduated from our orphanage, and hopefully meeting some new faces! We are so excited to get to spend time with these precious teens. Please be praying for our team as we continue to seek direction. Also, be praying for the kids we will come in contact with while we are there. We're also hoping to get to spend some time with some local churches, and encourage and fellowship with them!

We are still praying that we will be able to see the kids at our orphanage...

More updates to come!

Even when the world is shaking, my God stands

My heart is heavy. breaking. I'm confused. I'm in shock.

BUT

MY GOD IS NOT! He is NOT confused, He is NOT surprised, and He IS in control.

For those of you who did not know, our team has been waiting on one final "approval" from the minister of education for our trip to our orphanage in June. I got a phone call today - we did not get that approval. The Russian government put a "halt" on all recreational activities at Russian orphanages until the end of June. We could still be involved at the ministry center in the city, but not travel to the orphanage. If we are to travel to Russia in June, we would not be able to visit our orphanage. Not be able to see the sweet children that we are so longing to see. My heart is SO burdened for these kids, and I love them SO much... hearing word that we may not be able to see them just breaks my heart.

So what does this mean? We're not quite sure... we understand there a few scenarios that could take place, so we're praying for guidance and praying that God move in a big way to get us to see our kids.

#1) We have asked about moving the dates for our trip to July. In July, the kids will be at a 'camp' which is basically an orphanage that is in the woods. Russian orphans go to 'camp' during the summer to give the orphanage care givers and staff a vacation. So, the children will be at camp, which is about 2 hours outside of the city. We could stay in the city, work with the graduates at the ministry center, and maybe go and visit the kids at camp and still get to spend some time with them.

#2) To go in June for the dates we already have planned, and have bought plane tickets for and work with the graduates at the ministry center. My heart has been breaking for these teens who graduate the orphanage. Some of them graduate as early as 16 and are out on their own in the city, left to make 'adult decisions' at such a young age. These kids need support. They need role models. They need Jesus. Really.

AGAIN, MY GOD IS IN CONTROL!

As hard as it may be to get this news, and as much as my heart breaks, I know God has a plan for us... and for me. and for these sweet kids. I Know He is in control. This is, yet again, another opportunity for me to trust Him.

Pray with us that HE will mold and shape our next step, whatever it may be, and that HE would give us peace and guidance for the days to come. Pray that He will move in the hearts of the officials to allow us to come to Russia and visit these children, and pray that He would comfort our sweet kids during this time. Our whole team is SO excited to get to love on these orphans... and to grow closer in our relationship with Christ by doing so... we want to be used, and we want HIM to show us where, when, how, etc.

Right now, we will be waiting to hear from the minister of education about our request to come in July. Please be praying for these officials and that God would prompt them and lead...

In what seems to be chaos... and in a world that seems to be shaken. My God stands firm. My God is sovereign. My God is my rock.

Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land . Psalm 95:1-5

And a sweet friend reminded me of this verse also...

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philipians 4:6

Pray

There has been a lot of media about Russia recently because of events that have happened with adoption. Our team is still waiting on one, last, final approval from the minister of education. Please pray with us that the events that have happened recently will not have an affect on Russia's decision to allow us to come visit our kids at our orphanage. We are supposed to be hearing from our connections in Russia any time this week. Pray for the officials, that God would direct their heart to allow us clearance. I'll keep you updated when I know more.

We need your Support:)

Ok, so as some of you may know, our church sponsors an orphanage in Russia! Our orphanage has become one of my favorite places on the planet, and I can't wait to see those sweet kids again! There are about 110 kids, and about 20 of them are new to the orphanage! We are taking a team of 8 people from our church, and will get to spend about 7 days at the orphanage with the kids! We will then stay in the city that's near the orphanage for a few days and try to get together with the kids that have graduated from the orphanage that are now living in the city!

To help raise support for our trip, we are selling these T-Shirts! You can order them directly off my blog, and we will ship them to you! Also, if you live in the Huntsville area, you can buy them from me directly! :)

On the front they say, "Я верю..." which means in Russian "I believe..." and on the back, you can see the outline of Russia with the verse Psalm 68:6-5 in the outline both in Russian and English!

I believe this verse very much, and I have seen God work in amazing ways to be a Father to the Fatherless, and to set them in families! We must remember, we were ALL orphans, and God adopted us into His family and calls us His child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Size

S M L XL

We have a limited number of shirts, but once we run out, if there are still people wanting to support by buying a shirt, we will place another order!

I want to believe before I see...

Trust.

God in so many ways beckons me to trust Him.

It's amazing, this summer will be my 5th trip to Russia. Last year I was able to travel there 3 different times! As I was fundraising for each trip, God provided in abundance!!

However; each time, after a certain point, it's almost like I seem to 'forget' what God has done in the past. I begin to get anxious, and begin to believe the lie that says, 'He will not come through'...

I KNOW God is the great provider. I KNOW my God is true to His word. I KNOW my God is beckoning me to trust Him.

It's amazing... Last week Tuesday was an amazing day. As the day began, I was feeling 'anxious' about finances for our trip, and I was not going back to the promises of God, and relying on Him... BUT our God is good, and He is faithful, even when I am not. So, Tuesday, while at the church, we received a check that was a donation for our trip. Amazing. Praise the Lord. Then, at TRUTH we had a bake sale.... which went well! Also, we sold our fundraiser T-Shirts at TRUTH and sold 44 out of 50 the FIRST NIGHT! Amazing! God is good! Then, I get home at about 11 pm... all the while having an amazing day and seeing God be so faithful. Finally, I check the mail! We received another check in the mail as a donation for our trip! AMAZING! So I am running around the house at almost midnight just in awe of God and his goodness! THEN after all of this amazingness, I get online to check out flight prices, and they had gone from $1,023 each to $693 per person! This saves our team about $3,000!! PRAISE THE LORD!

All this to say, GOD PROVIDES! I know this. I have seen Him provide. Every. Time!

But, my point is this... why do I wait to SEE Him provide? Why can't I just KNOW that He will. Each time, I find myself falling into the lie of doubting how GOOD my God is. I don't say it outright, but I say it with my actions. I begin to be anxious, and I don't trust Him.

The time I had with the Lord on Tuesday and Wednesday after seeing God provide for our team in amazing ways was SO sweet... but I began to think. I want that sweet intimacy ALL THE TIME. I want to KNOW that my God provides. He is beckoning us to trust Him...

If we have to SEE God move, how much different are we from those in the new testament who asked for Jesus to show them more signs and miracles before they would believe who he was. Yes, miracles happen, and God is good! He provides, but we shouldn't wait to see it to believe it. I want to just KNOW! I want to believe His word SO MUCH that I don't have to wait to see the end result to praise Him.

I want to praise Him even before I see what He does or where He leads!

I don't want to be a someone who is always waiting for something from God, and who only believes He is who He says He is after I see it... I want to be someone who is praising my Savior just for WHO HE IS! Because He is just that... my SAVIOR!

So I'll ask you... what are you waiting for? Financial provision? A Job? A child? A Spouse? Something else? We are all waiting for something... but don't let the time of waiting pass you by... let it be a sweet time of intimacy with your savior. We know God is good, faithful, and will provide (maybe not in our timing, or exactly what we wanted, but what HE wants)... so why wait to praise Him, and why doubt He will come through? Bank on the fact that He is in control and TRUST.

The Words I Would Say...

Ok, so I don't listen to KSBJ that much, but recently I tuned in, and heard this song... I heard it a while back but never really listened to the lyrics. Of course, the first thing I thought while listening is that this is a perfect song for my sweet orphans in Russia... and I just broke down. The lyrics speak truth perfectly, and I only wish they could hear it right this moment.

Please take a look at the lyrics, and then when the Lord puts someone on your heart that needs to hear these words, don't be afraid to speak these truths into their life!

The Words I Would Say - Sidewalk Prophets

Three in the morning,

And I'm still awake,

So I picked up a pen and a page,

And I started writing,

Just what I'd say,

If we were face to face,

I'd tell you just what you mean to me,

I'd tell you these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know,

God's got His hand on you so,

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're here,

Take your time and pray,

These are the words I would say,

Last time we spoke,

You said you were hurting,

And I felt your pain in my heart,

I want to tell you,

That I keep on praying,

Love will find you where you are,

I know cause I've already been there,

So please hear these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know,

God's got His hand on you so,

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're here,

Take your time and pray,

These are the words I would say,

From one simple life to another,

I will say,

Come find peace in the Father,

Be strong in the Lord and,

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know,

God's got His hand on you so,

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're here,

Take your time and pray,

Thank God for each day,

His love will find a way,

These are the words I would say

Here are a few faces of the sweet kids at Solotcha...

Hello World!

There is SO much going on in my life at the moment! I know this will be a great outlet, and also a great way to let people know what God is doing! Right now, I am in the process of finishing up a semester in methods in 7th grade math, but more importantly, I am getting ready to go to Russia for trip #5 in June! I am SO excited to see all the people that I have come to know and love in the city of Ryazan and at the orphanage we sponsor!

The next few months will be interesting, and mostly, I will update you on how you can be praying for our team, and for our upcoming trip! It has been a while since the world of 'xanga' in 8th grade.... haha, so hopefully I can jump back in to the blogging world!

Right now, you can pray for the sweet kids that we will be seeing in June. Our orphanage has about 110 kids, from ages 3-18. We will be at the orphanage for 7 days to do activities with them, and share the love of Christ with them! We will also stay a few days in the city to hang out with the kids that have graduated and are living on their own! We are taking a team of 8 people from our church, and we are SO excited!

It seems that each time I leave Russia, I touch down in Houston and begin counting down the days until I can return to the place I have come to know and love. Let the countdown begin!! 66 days!!!!! :):)

More updates to come soon! :)